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Saturday, November 5, 2011

So far, NANOWRIMO has had a reversed effect on me

Besides journal writing longhand with my favourite purple Energel in the mornings as I rise or just before going to bed, I haven't written anything since NANOWRIMO started 5 days ago. I am now 8335 words late if I want to average 1667 words a day. 

I'm -8335 words.  That's minus 8335 words.
i THINK i'LL DO nanowrimo  IN REVERSE. oups I got My CapitaliZations in REversE.
Just like I avoid having friends on Facebook and ignore friend requests, maybe I'll go try for minus 50 000 words.

As soon as November first rolled around, I decided that I wasn't doing it. I have to write the first chapter of my kids' novel with detailed drafts of chapters 2 and 3 and rough drafts of the remaining chapters. And I think that there are major components to my story that I need to rework. 

I had thought of starting a 3rd adult novel but that sounds like 30 days of craziness and that's besides the fact that my day job requires me to do things like plan lessons, grade work, meet students and parents. I corrected my students writings and various evaluations and started working on report cards on this beautiful Saturday instead of writing for me.

That's ok. I journalled and I'm writing now. I journalled about being at a birthday celebration for a friend and myself last night and having to practice zenness when the restaurant lights were dimmed and staff, our table and patrons started singing Ma chère other friend's name c'est à ton tour, de te laisser parler d'amour as the waiter brought out 1 piece of angel food cake with one candle and placed in front of my friend who was at the other end of the table. I practiced smiling even the little girl inside wanted to run home at that very moment. I wrote about being alone on my actual birthday walking in Ottawa and hearing someone call out "Happy Birthday" and it wasn't for me. 

Funny how the world never stops for you. Could each and everyone of us just get one frigging day a year where we are celebrated?

Your world can be falling apart or it can just be your birthday, a day that you would like to be a little bit special, and everybody's life just goes on. Life goes on even if you die. How thankless is that? 
If at least you can be at your own funeral and then check out after the last song has been sung and the last bottle of wine has been emptied, providing that people would actually say kind words and tell everyone else what a great gal you were, how you were so full of talent and that they were lucky to have you as their friend, to their teacher, their sister, lover, partner, neighbour, mentor, roommate, Twitter stalker, Youtube friend and guest on their blog. 

So, I got over not having cake delivered or that dumb song sung for me until quite a few minutes later. Like walking on a balance beam hoping not to fall off, I practiced smiling gracefully without feeling too sorry for myself, and concentrated on my conversation with another friend who has gone through a life changing year.

  Like a budding musician listens to wonderful musicians, I read one heck of a lot.
I'm reading a few different books by superb authors: Robert B. Parker, Elizabeth Berg, Michael Morpugo, Walter Isaacson and Ralph Fletcher.

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