Saturday, June 20, 2015

la Fête des pères



La Fête des pères 2015

À la mémoire de mon père,
Jean G. Nadon
4 juillet 1923-
21 février 2001


 Jean Gabriel Nadon, John, Mon Oncle Johnny, Dad, Pa.

 Je n'ai pas beaucoup connu mon père pendant mon enfance. Il travaillait de longues heures à partir du mois d'avril jusqu'au mois d'octobre à Lachute. Nous allions passer les étés avec lui. Il m'amenait dans les grandes cuisines du club de golf de Lachute pour que le pâtissier me gâte avec toutes sortes de créations sucrées.

 Quand mon père a reçu l'invitation pour travailler pour le Gouverneur Général c'est ma mère qui l'a encouragé d'accepter ce poste prestigieux. Alors là, il travaillait de longues heures à longueur d'année à Ottawa. Ma mère et moi allions le voir lorsqu'il ne pouvait pas descendre ici. J'étais très jeune et ça m'impressionnait de voir mon père vêtu dans un genre de tuxedo avec une grande queue ressemblant à un chef d'orchestre. Mon père l'appelait son "monkey suit". Il était beau dans son monkey suit.

 Environ toutes les 2 semaines, mon père descendait à Montebello pour une fin de semaine de congé. Nous nous assoyions au souper avec des chandelles et une bouteille de vin. En ce temps-là, mon père coupait mon vin avec de l'eau. Il avait toujours de bonnes histoires à nous raconter. Au lieu de contes de fées, mon père remplissait ma tête avec des anecdotes de la vie de Rideau Hall remplies de personnages comme des rois, des reines, des premiers ministres et des présidents de pays lointains. Il était bon raconteur.

 Il nous rapportait des cadeaux et des souvenirs exotiques. À un party surprise pour ma fête, il nous a servi un délice d'un pays africain: des chenilles fumées. Il a fait semblant d'en déguster pour convaincre mes amis et moi d'en manger.

Mon père a eu la chance de voyager. Il a partagé une de ses aventures avec moi l'été de mes 16 ans. Il m'a emmenée pour mon premier vol à bord d'un Boeing 707, mais pas n'importe quel Boeing. C'était l'avion de la reine d'Angleterre. Quel baptême de l'air! Moi, j'espérais rencontrer le beau Prince Andrew, j'avais même porté une jupe, mais il avait pris un autre vol. Par contre, j'ai fait la connaissance d'un autre prince. La relation avec mon père dont je jouissais les dernières années de sa vie a pris naissance pendant ce voyage. Nous sommes revenus de Vancouver par le train. Quatre jours toute seule à traverser le Canada avec mon père. C'était le début de notre complicité.

 Mon père était un homme sage. Quelques semaines après avoir quitté le village pour poursuivre mes études à Montréal, j'ai téléphoné à mon père pour lui dire que je voulais tout lâcher. Papa pouvait aussi être économe avec ses mots: "Je comprends que tu trouves ça difficile, mais reste à l'école, me dit-il doucement, on en reparlera à Noël". Il savait bien ou bien il espérait que je plonge dans mes études et ma nouvelle vie. Il a eu raison. Rendu à Noël tout allait bien et je voulais continuer mes études. Deux ans plus tard, rendue à l'université d'Ottawa, demeurant à quelques rues de mon père, je lui ai téléphoné pour lui dire que j'étais découragée et que je voulais quitter les études. Encore une fois,  mon père m'a répondu: "Reste à l'école, on en reparlera à Noël".


 Papa savait comment j'allais juste à me regarder ou à entendre ma voix. Il me disait: "Viens faire un tour au bureau."  Il m'assoyait dans sa chaise. Il revenait avec des restants succulents d'un repas gastronomique et il me racontait des histoires. Il a toujours gardé cette douce sensibilité.

 Papa a toujours continué de nous divertir avec ses histoires. Deux  semaines avant son décès à l'heure du souper, il nous racontait les différentes manières qu'il a tenté de s'esquiver de son service militaire pendant la guerre. Ses copains et lui ont même ingurgité des négatifs de photos en croyant que ça révélerait des taches sur leurs poumons. Malgré tous leurs efforts, ils ont servi leur pays.

 La veille de notre voyage en Espagne pendant lequel il est décédé,  je lui ai demandé: "Comment as-tu fait pour ne pas t'inquiéter pendant les 3 ans que j'étais en Europe?"  " Qui te dit que je ne me suis pas inquiété?  Il fallait que je l'accepte", m'a-t-il répondu en regardant par la fenêtre du salon.

 Je suis reconnaissante que la vie m’ait prêté deux parents qui ont donné à Vincent et à moi de l'amour, une joie de vivre, un sens de l'humour et une appréciation pour tout ce qui est beau et bon.

 Ce qui était le plus important pour mon père était de savoir que sa famille était en sécurité et heureuse. Je me sens bénie d'avoir profité des dernières années avec mon père. Que de matins nous avons admiré les oiseaux dans nos mangeoires, les chevreuils dans les champs et la rosée sur nos fleurs. Que de journées nous avons passées à dévorer des livres de recettes.  Il n'est plus là. J’ai appris à accepter le départ prématuré de mes parents. Je sais dans mon coeur qu’ils sont en sécurité et heureux.



Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mother's Day

My Mom died in 1991 from colon cancer. I was 28 and devastated. My life had been falling apart back then so I ran away for 3 years. Since then, I've never done anything for Mother's Day. But this morning, I've chosen to look at Mother's Day through a different lense and leave regret, hurt, guilt and shame aside.

I'm sorry for all of the stupid things I did, all of the wretchedly poor choices I made and sorry fords playing selfishness like an adolescent well into my 20's. I'm sorry for all of the worry and hurt that I put her through. 

Mother's Day is usually a non-holiday for me.But today, I will honour her and show gratitude. 

I'm grateful that...

Mom always put others first.
Mom showed me self-discipline by example.
Mom laughed to laugh and a wacky sense of humour.
Mom was a talented artist, she drew, painted, designed and made clothes, she played the piano well and had a beautiful singing voice.
Mom was fun to be with.
She was adventurous and loved driving into the city or checking out unmarked country roads.
Mom loved animals.
Mom was "green" decades before it became a political stance or a marketing gimmick.
Mom was curious and had a thirst for knowledge and an enthusiasm for sharing her discoveries.
Mom was a natural teacher.
Mom cared for a beautiful vegetable, fruit and flower garden.
Mom was an awesome cook.
Mom was a crusader for beliefs whether they were political, moral or spiritual.

I try to honour her by...
Having come back home and created a relationship with Dad in his final years
Learning to cook and appreciate whole foods
Learning to garden
Adding the back porch that she dreamed of for years
Keeping her piano in tune and learning to play
Composting and caring for the earth in the choices I make
Cooking some of her recipes
Restoring her bicycle and riding it to work
Being curious and well-read and sharing my enthusiasm with my friends and students
Creating music
Creating art through photography
Feeding birds and appreciating their presence in the yard
Practicing gratitude every morning by observing quiet time upon waking like she did.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!



Sunday, February 22, 2015

Practice, passion and persistence

Practice, passion and persistence

“If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so masterful at all.” – Michelangelo

If Michelangelo said that, what about the rest of us? How hard must we work to achieve anything? 
I know, I know: practice, passion and persistence. 
If only I'd practiced the piano and the guitar more when I was a kid, if only I'd taken art and drawing more seriously in college, if only I'd had the guts to take creative writing instead of appreciation classes, what then? If only I'd been more courageous, mature and wise enough to listen to my authentic self and not so worried about getting a job and living a comfy life. What then? 

 I have no idea.  I do know that now, so many decades later, when I play music or compose, blog, write poems or short stories, take and post photos or share what I am learning about, it is done with passion. 
Luckily, I stumbled into a living which allows me the freedom to use my interests in many different ways and hopefully every once in awhile, a student will recognize a spark which will lead her to her own desires and to her true self.

I'm at a stage that in order to show myself some compassion, I let go of expectations but I do make myself do something, anything, because of passion. 
My new motto is:
Doing something is better than nothing.

Nike says "Just do it!"

I say: Do something!

So, I dabble in a lot of spheres. The way I see it, I'm curious and naïve enough to think that I can and should try my hand at different things. However, I realize that if I wanted to edge my way towards mastery, it would take me many lifetimes. 
I admire people who have achieved great things by being single-minded and focused long enough to actually get somewhere. Anywhere.

Perhaps my somewhere is to light candles In others. If so, dabbling is exactly what I should be doing in order to ignite as many fires as possible.

May we all be listen to our hearts and set the world ablaze with passion and compassion!

Mind map of The Sweet Spot by Christine Carter

The Sweet Spot by Christine Carter, my mind map notes

Sunday, February 15, 2015

In my lover's house



In my lover’s house
By 
Julia Nadon

In my lover’s house
Every wall stands at an angle
Ready to sway to the beat of
His drum
The air smells of Irish Spring
Mixed with basil
And thyme
And again
It welcomes me to another tryst
Preceded by literary talk
Debates over blues’ masters
Or Scottish airs
Bread and olives
And a bottle of Chianti
Consumed on the dock
Under the setting sun
Followed by a slow
Teasing walk
Back up the hill


Friday, January 2, 2015

creativity

The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.

- Pablo Picasso -


Every day in my work and in my personal life, I find that creativity gives me freedom to explore new ideas, manipulate old, tried and true concepts and rework everything for my own self-expression or to put a twist on my work.

I love music. It is a language I have understood for as long as I can remember. I can express myself through music. I use music to help my students learn and recall facts. I love making music even more than I enjoy listening to music, but I can be inspired by other artists, especially singer-songwriters like me.

I love visual arts. I love photography in particular because it is accessible to me. I have a intuition about subjects and composition. Photography is quick and can be very spur of the moment. Miss the opportunity, the light, the subject and it's gone. Photography can be tinkered with back at home on a computer. I am moved and inspired by other people's expression through photography. I use photography only in my personal life as a mode of expression. I cannot remember using it for work.

I love writing. I have always loved reading and have been reading probably as long as I've been talking. I love the written word. I love language. I love the meaning of words and their combination like I love melodies and rich 7th and 9th chords in music. I write for pleasure every day in my journal. I also use my talent for writing in my work. Words flow easily in both English and French even though I prefer English. Writing really opened up for me when I attended Linda Rief's conferences in the Laurentians. Poetry and creative non-fiction opened up writing as expression for me like the blues opened up my guitar playing and 7th and 9th chords opened up my attempts at the piano.

I also find that moving my body also liberates my mind: swimming, cycling, skiing, snowshoeing, even gardening. My body is busy and working and my mind is free chew on its bones or to wander free.

How do you wash off your daily dust?

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Winter solstice

Where did 2014 go?
Okay. It's not totally gone yet. We're into some of the darkest days of the year and yet, I find it warm and calming. I give myself permission to be less  than perfect.

Permission to go easy on myself and my students. 

Permission to rest and be lazy, especially as I see colleagues battle fatigue, colds and the flu. There will be no messy crafts or Christmas concert this year. I've decided to be less than perfect and to stay healthy and patient for my own good and for the good of others around me. 

Permission for a second glass of red wine, I'm in my pyjamas by 7pm and not heading back out until morning so no harm can be done besides falling asleep on the couch as I read or watch another rerun of Blue Bloods.

Even though the days have been getting shorter since June, it will seem almost too soon to witness them getting longer next week. I haven't yet been skiing or snowshoeing. I need more snow for that.

Sundays are spent making big pots of veggie soups and chilis and cornbread and muffins, sipping herbal teas and reading and watching the dog walkers hike up the lane.

Everyday is lived fully even though lately, I've neglected my writing and photography.
I'll forgive myself. I've kept up swimming 100 laps a week and I've almost kept up composing new music each week. I even surprised myself and my students as I noodled away on the guitar waiting for them to settle into the class earlier this week. They clapped when I finished a piece of music that I'd just created as I watched them sharpen their pencils , tie their indoor shoes and read the daily plan. They're used to hearing me play quietly in the back of the room when they are on task and don't need me. They don't usually clap. And I admitted to them that I had just surprised myself too with what I'd just created. 

So, I'll go easy on myself if I haven't kept up all of my challenges.

Go easy on yourself too. Take time for yourself, take an extra cup of whatever makes you sane.