Okay. It's not totally gone yet. We're into some of the darkest days of the year and yet, I find it warm and calming. I give myself permission to be less than perfect.
Permission to go easy on myself and my students.
Permission to rest and be lazy, especially as I see colleagues battle fatigue, colds and the flu. There will be no messy crafts or Christmas concert this year. I've decided to be less than perfect and to stay healthy and patient for my own good and for the good of others around me.
Permission for a second glass of red wine, I'm in my pyjamas by 7pm and not heading back out until morning so no harm can be done besides falling asleep on the couch as I read or watch another rerun of Blue Bloods.
Even though the days have been getting shorter since June, it will seem almost too soon to witness them getting longer next week. I haven't yet been skiing or snowshoeing. I need more snow for that.
Sundays are spent making big pots of veggie soups and chilis and cornbread and muffins, sipping herbal teas and reading and watching the dog walkers hike up the lane.
Everyday is lived fully even though lately, I've neglected my writing and photography.
I'll forgive myself. I've kept up swimming 100 laps a week and I've almost kept up composing new music each week. I even surprised myself and my students as I noodled away on the guitar waiting for them to settle into the class earlier this week. They clapped when I finished a piece of music that I'd just created as I watched them sharpen their pencils , tie their indoor shoes and read the daily plan. They're used to hearing me play quietly in the back of the room when they are on task and don't need me. They don't usually clap. And I admitted to them that I had just surprised myself too with what I'd just created.
I'll forgive myself. I've kept up swimming 100 laps a week and I've almost kept up composing new music each week. I even surprised myself and my students as I noodled away on the guitar waiting for them to settle into the class earlier this week. They clapped when I finished a piece of music that I'd just created as I watched them sharpen their pencils , tie their indoor shoes and read the daily plan. They're used to hearing me play quietly in the back of the room when they are on task and don't need me. They don't usually clap. And I admitted to them that I had just surprised myself too with what I'd just created.
So, I'll go easy on myself if I haven't kept up all of my challenges.
Go easy on yourself too. Take time for yourself, take an extra cup of whatever makes you sane.
